Benablog has Globalized

2009-03-08T23:58:00.001+07:00

"several times i saw you in my dreams ..

you talked to me and you smiled at me ..

we were laughing together .. "

i wish it was true .

Messages for my ex-es

2009-01-20T14:39:00.007+07:00

Ehm, historically ..

Dear M,
why? what's wrong with you?
i've seen ur photos in 'that' places.
i hope nothing's wrong, and i hope you'll be a better girl. :)

Dear P,
i know i can't be a spiderman.
bena is bena.
spiderman is spiderman is Tobey.

Dear R,
oh we had a lot of adventures! what a fun.
you know what, i still remember that 'thing' that happened in that stupid flyover bridge. :P
it was romantic, but it was happened not in the right time :P

you look very happy now,
wish you all the best. :D

Dear T,
you know ..
you're the best that i had so far.
you never angry to me
you never complained anything to me
you loved me just the way i am..
and i just want you to know .. i regret it.
how could i let you go..

i'm sorry i hurt you.
i know apology is not enough.
sorry.

i love you.. as .. my little sister :D

Dear B,
friends?
:D

2009-01-12T08:01:00.000+07:00

dear, you.

i like you..

that's it. let's be crazy.

(period). :D

2009-01-05T11:35:00.002+07:00

sooooooo many things that i want to writeee ..

but .. i don't know where to start .

. . .

2009 !

i want everything to be changed in a good way. :D

Reality

2008-12-08T21:51:00.001+07:00

I woke up turn on the TV for a thousand times
Reruns I've seen to many on the animal show
The tiger runs after the dear and he finally catches on

But every time I try to catch you I stumble and I fall
How do I begin to finish this never ending fairy tale
I need to get back to reality
Every time you do that thing the thing you always do
I ended up in misery while starring at your photograph
I'm loosing my grip to reality

2008-12-03T23:05:00.002+07:00

i never thought you would read that story ..
and if you did, i just wanna say that everything what i said is true .
it takes time to prepare the best for you.

* #&#^@^#(@

:)

2008-11-25T05:09:00.008+07:00

There's only one thing two do
Three words four you

I love you

There's only one way two say

Those three words and that's what I'll do,

I love you

1 2 3 4 - Plain White T's

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

"Life Is Wonderful" - Jason Mraz

2008-11-23T22:52:00.002+07:00

it hurts

saat lo lagi bersama orang yang lo sayang
ngobrol-ngobrol dengan orang yang lo sayang
ketawa haha hihi dengan orang yang lo sayang

tapi

tau kalo dia sudah memiliki orang yang lebih dia sayangi

at least

i'm happy when i'm with her :D

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

what a day

obviously i remember all the things that i've done today, but one important thing that i remember is,

when she said 'this' word, or 'that' word,

some of them made me stun. but some of them made me smile.

i was stunned because.. dunno why 'that' word seems .. .. . .. . . forget it

i was smiled because, i do remember all the things we've done, especially that day, when u said like 'it was the happiest day of my life' .

really happy to know you were very happy that day :D

i just had to write it somewhere :D

okay, i miss you

2008-11-13T19:02:00.009+07:00

Okay, maybe you won't see this post.

and maybe, if you see this post,, well this will explain how i feel just now.

hoah i just can't stand it, 'i just had to write it somewhere
'. i want to tell someone about this, but i don't know who shud i talk to.

everyday, i see your private message, it makes me very2 sad, or maybe very2 happy because you feel happy with it.

today, you talked to me. you wanted something.
but then, dunno why, i just miss your texts.

i forgot where i can see it, but after a couple of minutes, i found it and i read it very seriously. I read the recent texts, you seem very .. calm and happy. but what about me? i was.. i just don't have anything to say.

i looked out for your another texts, yup i found it. There was no new texts so i went to the old texts. I read almost every single word you wrote. some made me happy, and some made me sad. really sad.

at that time,
i feel. . like .. so stupid. i just don't realize that all of that old texts that you wrote was about your life .. and about me. i feel so guilty right now to know that i let you go that noon.

i'm sorry (again), because i made your days full by tears and weeps.

and for that 'hidden' texts, i'm sorry. now i think i can't do anything, all i can do is to pray for you.

last but not least, feel free to ask anything to me, feel free to ask for a help. :)

i miss you. :D
hope he can makes you happy. :)

yes!

2008-11-08T14:22:00.002+07:00

finally have it !

one step closer!

do the right thing, do my best, andddd wait for the results!!

it's okay to wait, but if it ends in a bad way, that would be a serious problem.
But ill try!

better late than never!
haha :D:D

Wessssssss ..

2008-10-30T20:57:00.002+07:00

how about me now?

This is my situation recently *my imagination* (bad english) :

MTMM - Depapepe

dreams (again)

2008-09-26T13:36:00.011+07:00

I dreamed again!

Dreaming about her again yesterday, hmm .. i guess.. not only yesterday, well it's like there are more than 2/3 dreams in a week which i see her in my dream*bad english*

Well yesterday's dream was not so interesting(again it was a happy ending though : ) ), the storyline was abstract, all i can remember is that i saw her in my dream, hmmm .. i guess .. we're in a shiny place, where there was no background, only a white sky all over the place.. She came to me, she took my hand, she smiled, and she asked me to accompany her walking around the white place..

I dunno where we're going, all i remember is that she was smiling all the time, and so was i. Guess there's nothing better than a happy dream with a smile on our face!

'who's her?'
my girl laah .. i've already missed her when she's not in my car anymore, while she's walking to her home. I wish i can stop time, and take her with me to go to all around the world, and get back again at the same time. :D

oh i remember, several days ago, when i went to my former class, i told my 'autist' friends a lot of story, and there were a lot of changes in the class.

I said, 'weeeeyyy so many new guys here! wowww new phone huh? you too omg!'
they were laughing and then i said among my friends,
'well i don't have something new.. i just have my new girlfriend'.

And they're all laughing and ticking me, they want me to celebrate my happiness and take them eating2 .. hha *bad english* hoah i miss my former class. :D

anddd .. Hope there's more dreams to tell! :)
you just dont know how much i love you

Q&A

2008-09-19T23:50:00.009+07:00

Questions & Answers ..

in indo lah . ahehe .

1. Halo
- halo

2. Gimana kabar ben? baik?
- buruukkk, batuk2 nih coy

3. Woh kok bisa?
- gatau, padahal dah berenti minum dingin ..

4. Hmm hayoo kayanya lagi ada apa apa nihh ..
- iya . .

5. Cerita dong!
- kangen sama pacar.. biasa ..

6. Loh emang kapan terakhir ketemu?
- kemaren ..

7. Lah baru juga ketemu kemaren udah kangen lagi aja?
- ya gue kangenan mo apa lo?

8. Iya yaudah jangan marah.
- gue ga marah, lagi puasa ini. .

9. Terus gimana dong?
- yaa sabar aja sampe ketemu lagi ..

10. Emang kenapa sih cepet banget kangennya?
- hmm yaaa gue kurang temen ngobrol aja kali, dia kan seru, lucu lagi hehe

11. Turut berduka deh, kapan ketemu dia lagi?
- ngga tau deh, let the time comes ..

12. Oke, eh lo nulis gini ntar diliat loh!
- yaudah sih, santay aja .. kangen ini yaa dia juga kangen ama gue :P

13. Ohh yaudah, iseng banget sih lo?
- biarin weee :P

14. Kata kata buat si doi?
- Aku kangen kamuuuu bekkkk . . . semoga cepet ketemu lagi yaahh sayangggg !! :D

.

2008-09-19T23:50:00.006+07:00

booorrriinggggggggggg ...

alskjdfl;akdjfa
dfakdsfasdfjadsfad
f;sdjfa;sdjfa;
dfasd;jfs;fdja;fdjasdf
ajdf;adjf;ajfa;fja

i wish i can be like 'Hiro'
so i could comeback again to those times..

i wish we have more time ..
sabar ben sabar!

Peace . I'm touched by this.

2008-09-13T11:13:00.003+07:00

Lucky man

2008-09-01T13:00:00.002+07:00

some people say i'm a lucky man
to win the first prize lottery
some people say i'm a lucky man
to have a high-flying bright career

but i know they're wrong
and i'm sure they're wrong

some people say i'm a lucky man
to have a lot of friends out there
some people say i'm a lucky man
to have doors open everywhere

but i know they're wrong
i'm a very lucky man
to have such a girl like her..

mocca edited - lucky man

'First day of my life'

2008-08-26T10:42:00.006+07:00

This is for you, my angel.

This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me

get well soon honey .. :)

:)

2008-08-25T23:03:00.005+07:00

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when she was sad, i was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was i, when she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and i together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, i was there to comfort her
And i knew that she loved me.

Sarah Mclachlan - When Somebody Loved Me

IYSWU LOTAA OUTYE VJHYE EUEOB :)

:)

2008-08-18T10:49:00.003+07:00

I am happy !

I'm yours

yes, i'm keeping you for sure
would be crazy if i don't
yes i'm holding on to you for sure
you're the one
you're the one for me
----------------------
melte - you're the one

i Love you :)

Normal

2008-08-14T21:49:00.006+07:00

i'm just a guy with a normal brain
i can't do many things at a time

i'm just a guy with a normal heart
i can't make it beats faster or slower

i'm just a guy with a normal life
i can't buy everything i want

i'm just a guy with a normal brain
i can't memorize all the things i'm up to

i'm just a normal guy,
a human being.

not so tough, not so weak.
not so big, not so small.
not so smart, not so stupid.
yes,
not so smart, not so stupid.

:)

ｼﾞﾑﾉぺﾃﾞｨ第1番 - DEPAPEPE

Around

2008-08-10T23:24:00.004+07:00

because the vocabs in this post are ribet, so indonesia aja is okay la ya . hehe

Recently, gue lagi merasa seneng seru dan semuanya, campur aduk. Dan kalo gue lagi sendiri, gue ekspresiin perasaan gue lewat lagu. Ga harus bikin lagu, tapi dengerin lagu yang pas aja cukup ya kan? hehe.

Gue lagi pengen ngomongin tentang sesuatu yang berbau love.

Sejak SMA, gue mulai merhatiin gimana sih gaya pacaran anak-anak seumuran gue, dan gimana gaya pacaran anak-anak SMP yang semakin lama emang makin banyak yang ga bener. Bukan berarti gue ga bener, tapi tiap orang punya pemikiran masing-masing dalam ngejalanin hubungannya dengan orang lain.

Dari beberapa temen gue yang gue perhatiin, ada banyak banget sifat-sifat dari si cowok ato si cewek yang kadang bisa bikin jadi masalah. Ada yang cowoknya suka bohong, ada yang ceweknya posesif, ada yang cowoknya males ngangkat telpon dari ceweknya, dan macem2nya lagi. Tapi yang pengen gue tau adalah, apa si arti 'sayang' itu buat dia ke pacarnya?

Gue pernah punya temen, yang kalo pacaran itu bener-bener pengennya ketemuuuu terus. Kangennya ga abis-abis, sampe apapun dilakuin buat ketemu pacarnya, such as cabut dari sekolah, pulang malem sampe dimarahin orang tua, malahan ada yang sampe nginep dirumah pacarnya. menyeramkan.

Kenapa si mereka sampe segitunya? Apa mereka ga peduli sama idup yang mereka jalanin sampe rela ngorbanin apa aja yang penting bisa terus jalan sama pacarnya? Padahal kalo sering ketemuan itu malah kadang jadi masalah dan akhirnya putus cuma karena emosi sesaat. Kalo kehidupan mereka malah jadi makin buruk, apa itu yang dibilang 'sayang'?

Kalo menurut gue, arti sayang itu adalah keadaan dimana lo nyukain seseorang, tapi lo ga cuma suka karena 'a part of him/her' (such as: money, body, face, etc.). Please don't judge the book by its cover and please don't judge a person by his/her blog(hehe), kalo kata enad, "Jangan liat buku dari covernya, tapi liat harganya, kalo mahal ya gajadi beli". HAHAHA. Jadi sayang itu menurut gue adalah keadaan dimana kita suka dengan seseorang, dan kita peduli dengan kehidupannya dia, dengan masalahnya dia, dan kita mau ngebantu dia kalo lagi ada problem, nevertheless, kita juga ga boleh lupa sama diri kita sendiri, menurut gue lagi, 'Sebelum kita sayang sama orang lain, sayangin dulu diri kita sendiri'.

Misal: kalo mau jalan gitu, ya ga perlu lah maksain cabut ato bohong sama orang tua biar bisa pergi. Itu malah nimbulin suatu masalah baru, bukannya nyelesein masalah.

Tapi tetep, yang terbaik adalah disaat kita bisa sayang sama diri kita sendiri, dan kita bisa sayang sama orang lain, dan lagi, dia melakukan hal yang sama, jadi kehidupan satu sama lain bisa lebih baik, beban yang ada, masalah yang ada, bisa diselesein bareng², bisa sharing satu sama lain, tanpa nimbulin suatu masalah baru..

Bukan berarti gue kayak gini, tapi yaa kalo teorinya mungkin gue dapet A kali yah.. oh well, lagi pengen nulis-nulis aja sih, Bete dah pada tidur semua .. gelap .. nyamuk lagi ..

Nite. . .

# a simple click would reveal the secret

A Happy song

2008-08-01T08:36:00.006+07:00

I am happy.

My life is not so empty again. I am getting fun of this life.

Well, i just wanna share this song to you, a song that makes me happy, makes me smile.

First of it, i love to analyze a song, umm i don't know what is the correct word for it(maybe the correct word is 'interpret a song'), well the point is that i love to make a song like a 'live scene' in my mind, just like making a music video in my mind.

This is the song, depapepe - start (open song in new tab to see the timeline)
read the rest of this post then play the song!

START - DEPAPEPE

Close your eyes, and listen to this music. I will try to make you think like i do when listening this song, now i will explain my scene in this song.

The Situation: You are alone in a place that far away from your closest one.

00:00-00:21 = you just got home, feeling lonely and you are hoping that something good will happen
00:22-00:49 = 'no, you are still feeling lonely, and you know that your closest one can't be here right now'
00:50-01:04 = 'you are lonely, but you can imagine the happiest time you've spent with your closest one' like in this situation, my own scene is in Dufan (eventhough i haven't went there with my closest one). You are laughing together, having fun together like you never imagine before.
01:05-01:44 = 'now you feel happy (i was smiling in this session) and you know you love him/her so much and now you aren't feeling lonely again cuz you have him/her'
01:45-01:57 = again the next day you are feeling so lonely, you got home so tired and he/she haven't called you yet
01:58-02:13 = you are trying to stay feeling happy and keep patient while waiting your closest one is calling you and you know that he/she will be.
02:14-02:28 = he/she calls you and you are so happy now,(i was smiling in this session too) you know you trust him/her and he/she won't forget you
02:29-03:00 = again you both talking or remembering the happiest time you've spent, having fun and laughing together, nothing is better than that :)
03:01-03:32 = this is the romantic session, you are remembering the most romantic time you've spent, like when you say i love you to him/her, and you hug him/her. (you don't need to have a Boy/Girlfriend first, remember this is just like a music video, the actor & actress could be not you, just trying to be happy by hearing this song! :) )
03:33-04:41 = you are feeling so happy, you smiled, and nothing gonna change this feeling, you love him/her so much...
04:42-04:56/end = both of you looking at the sky and the moon, and you now that you aren't far away from him/her, because you see the same moon, the same star he/she sees...

The song is ended at 04:57, the rest is error in that link up there.

Ahhh i hope you can understand what i mean.. :)

Two Times

2008-07-25T13:07:00.004+07:00

Waw there's something strange happened to me , well it's not that strange, but it made me confuse with that.

It was my dream.

The night before i left jakarta, i dreamed of a girl and some of my friends.

Well, usually, if i'm thinking of a person in my mind before sleep, the person won't be appear in my dream, but in this case dunno why, i saw a lot of person who close to me.

Not only that day, last night, i dreamed about it once again, but in this one, i only met with one girl, i was chatting with her, well i don't really remember what exactly she said to me, but i remember what was the point of our chat.

She asked me something about 'truth'. Well i don't really understand with it but i think she wants me to explain about something. mmm dunno about what.

haha. Oh yeah, this is my bed in my sister in law's condo, cool, but i'm kinda scared to get up there, cuz it's so high dude! evenmore when it's really dark and i can't see anything haha.

yes, i'm up there

2008-07-22T17:18:00.003+07:00

july 20th 2008

what a happy day,,

believe me what you've seen about me, it's not really me 100%.

im not that crazy boy that loves to mess around or doing something ridiculous ..

i am a good person too, just love to do crazy things and make people laugh but dat doesn't mean i am a hundred percent an 'autist' boy who can only acts stupid.

hoaaaa .. i'm happy but i'm sad and i'm confuse, oh god please give me the best way to live this life ..

hey you, missed u already

I Know I Can

2008-07-16T13:41:00.002+07:00

Yesssssssssssss

I know i cannnnnnnnnnnn

Now im planning a surprise just for you,
a crazy surprise that i bet no one ever give a surprise like this

i hope it'll be finished before the day

yay !

'Caution'

Sometimes

2008-07-02T06:09:00.009+07:00

Sometimes i prefer to be alone.

Sometimes i don't need friends to go with.

Sometimes i just feel like i'm always wrong.

Sometimes i feel like i'm a psychophat.

Sometimes i feel that this world is just a puzzle.

Sometimes i feel that every problem can be solved with a logical mind.

Sometimes i feel that every person in this world is just a robot who makes me happy or sad.

Sometimes i feel that i can never be with the girl that i love.

Sometimes i feel that i can make people laugh, but i can't make people love me.

Sometimes, it hurts to know that i'm not yours

-... . -. .- / -..- ....- --. ..---

Bad Days

2008-06-29T11:39:00.003+07:00

Waw, after a couple days now my new blog is officially opened!

Hmm the first thing i wanna tell you is that i'm sorry if my english is not delicious or whatever you call it, cuz i'm still learning english ^^

Phew, it was a very hard and freakin bad days recently. I had to face sooo soo many problems that makes me crazy because it almost happen to me every single day. I can't imagine what will happens next, and here are some of my freaky thingy that happened to me :

>several days ago, aprroximately in the morning, it was Black Out! Well, okay i cud handle it even i cudn't use my PC but what was happened next made me more and more deadly bored. My cellphone battery is low. YES, so you know that i can't use my computer either my phone to get online. Well for my life, getting online is such a big part of my life, maybe i can't live without internet even just a day.

> why mosquito loves me. i just don't know why, every single day, it always bites me, TELL MEEE OOHH MOSKITOSSS,, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU!??!

*i know i ate one of your friend back then a few years ago*

BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!! I just sat in the toilet, doing some freaky thing called poo and suddenly one of your (general)mosquito came to me and get into my mouth! well i think.. i was yawning and that mosq got in my mouth so i ACCIDENTLY swallowed it. It's a bit yucky, like eating something that .. umm .. i think,, he tried to escape cuz i can feel his wings flapping and i could hear him shouting

*MOMMYYYY MOMMYYYY!!!!!!*

I can only say im sorry. Please, just slow down mann.. just forget it,, revenge is not good lahh .. hehe

Hoahh actually there's more bad things that happened to me, well maybe it's not very bad after all cuz i am a tough person hiehee..

Two more exam and i will enjoying my holiday time .. 2 months everybodeeh, what a long long time to do lots of fun things. YAY ! Wish me luck !

Cacauu !

Benablog 2

2008-06-25T19:26:00.001+07:00

Hello World.

This is a new version of Benablog. Comin' at ya with a new style of language.

Well, so sorry if my english is not delicious, but i'll try my best to write with a good english, and of course i'm practicing to tell you some jokes in my story, with english.

But for now,

THIS BLOG IS
UNDER CONSTRUCTION